And what would humans be without love?"RARE, said Death.

It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.

If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember.

I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"Death thought about it.CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.

Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.

If there was anything that depressed him more than his own cynicism, it was that quite often it still wasn't as cynical as real life.

This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic.

Progress just means bad things happen faster.

Perhaps it would be simpler if you just did what you're told and didn't try to understand things.

I should have learned this, she thought. I wanted to learn fire, and pain, but I should have learned people.

I'd rather be a rising ape than a falling angel.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.

Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.

Time is a drug. Too much of it kills you.

In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.

DON'T THINK OF IT AS DYING, said Death. JUST THINK OF IT AS LEAVING EARLY TO AVOID THE RUSH.

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.

It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?

Death: "THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL, ALBERT."Albert: "Oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them.

HUMAN BEINGS MAKE LIFE SO INTERESTING. DO YOU KNOW, THAT IN A UNIVERSE SO FULL OF WONDERS, THEY HAVE MANAGED TO INVENT BOREDOM. (Death)

He'd been wrong, there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and it was a flamethrower.

The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who think they've found it.

This book was written using 100% recycled words.

...inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened.

We who think we are about to die will laugh at anything.

Do you think it's possible for an entire nation to be insane?

Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.

The entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks.

Most books on witchcraft will tell you that witches work naked. This is because most books on witchcraft are written by men.

Many people could say things in a cutting way, Nanny knew. But Granny Weatherwax could listen in a cutting way. She could make something sound stupid just by hearing it.

Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your older self.

Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.

In theory it was, around now, Literature. Susan hated Literature. She'd much prefer to read a good book.

The trouble is you can shut your eyes but you can’t shut your mind.

What kind of man would put a known criminal in charge of a major branch of government? Apart from, say, the average voter.

The sun rose slowly, as if it wasn't sure it was worth all the effort.

Some things are fairly obvious when it's a seven-foot skeleton with a scythe telling you them

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Gods don't like people not doing much work. People who aren't busy all the time might start to think.

Speak softly and employ a huge man with a crowbar.

The figures looked more or less human. And they were engaged in religion. You could tell by the knives (it's not murder if you do it for a god).

This was not a fairy-tale castle and there was no such thing as a fairy-tale ending, but sometimes you could threaten to kick the handsome prince in the ham-and-eggs.

Things that try to look like things often do look more like things than things.

Bishops move diagonally. That's why they often turn up where the kings don't expect them to be.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

The purpose of this lectchoor is to let you know where we are. We are in the deep cack. It couldn't be worse if it was raining arseholes. Any questions?

What's a philosopher?' said Brutha.Someone who's bright enough to find a job with no heavy lifting,' said a voice in his head.

People who didn't need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn't need people.

-Oh yes? Can you identify yourself?-Certainly. I'd know me anywhere.

Every intelligent being, whether it breathes or not, coughs nervously at some time in its life.

The trouble was that he was talking in philosophy but they were listening in gibberish.

In the words of the philosopher Sceptum, the founder of my profession: am I going to get paid for this?

It was sad music. But it waved its sadness like a battle flag. It said the universe had done all it could, but you were still alive.

Granny was an old-fashioned witch. She didn’t do good for people, she did right by them.

He had about the same life expectancy as a three legged hedgehog on a six lane motorway.

Who shall I shoot? You choose. Now, listen very carefully: where's your coffee? You've got coffee, haven't you? C'mon, everyone's got coffee! Spill the beans!

We are here and it is now. The way I see it is, after that, everything tends towards guesswork.

I’m not superstitious. I’m a witch. Witches aren’t superstitious. We are what people are superstitious of.

Just because you can explain it doesn't mean it's not still a miracle.

A lie can run round the world before the truth has got its boots on.

The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head.

Truth! Freedom! Justice! And a hard-boiled egg!

Nothing has to be true forever. Just for long enough.

When people say things are a lot more complicated than that, they means they're getting worried that they won't like the truth.

When in doubt, choose to live.

And, as always happens, and happens far too soon, the strange and wonderful becomes a memory and a memory becomes a dream. Tomorrow it's gone.

She couldn't do any worse, but then, he couldn't do better. So maybe it balanced out.

Do you not know that a man is not dead while his name is still spoken?

No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away...

I DON'T HOLD WITH CRUELTY TO CATS.

If words had weight, a single sentence from Death would have anchored a ship.

It struck Mort with sudden, terrible poignancy that Death must be the loneliest creature in the universe. In the great party of Creation, he was always in the kitchen.

How do you get all those coins?" asked Mort.IN PAIRS.

DEAFNESS DOESN'T PREVENT COMPOSERS HEARING THE MUSIC. IT PREVENTS THEM HEARING THE DISTRACTIONS.

YOU HAVE REACHED THE END OF CAKE

The reaper does not listen to the harvest.

Lots of people would be as cowardly as me if they were brave enough.

That’s what being alive is, Thing! It’s being badly prepared for everything! Because you only get one chance, Thing!

On the Disc, the Gods aren't so much worshipped, as they are blamed.

The trouble with being a god is that you've got no one to pray to.

Be careful what you wish for. You never know who will be listening.

When you can flatten entire cities at a whim, a tendency towards quiet reflection and seeing-things-from-the-other-fellow's-point- of-view is seldom necessary.

Creators aren't gods. They make places, which is quite hard. It's men that make gods. This explains a lot.

To be frank, I find religion rather offensive.

To tell you the truth, I'm something of an atheist.

The first draft is just you telling yourself the story.

Writing is the most fun you can have by yourself.

[Science fiction is] out in the mainstream now. You can tell by the way mainstream literary authors pillage SF while denying they're writing it!

I just rearrange words into a pleasing order for money.

...it is well known that a vital ingredient of success is not knowing that what you're attempting can't be done.

I'm trying to remember how you tell the time by looking at the sun." -"I should leave it for a while, it's too bright to see the numbers at the moment.

There is always time for another last minute

The calendar of the Theocracy of Muntab counts down, not up. No-one knows why, but it might not be a good idea to hang around and find out.

I REMEMBER WHEN ALL THIS WILL BE AGAIN.

Life could be horrible in the wrong trouser of time.